sexdownunder

Sex, Love & Relationships in Australia

The Four Seasons of Sex Addiction

Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia

Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

After speaking to many sex addicts and cheaters, I’ve noticed a link between their acting out and the weather.  My theory is that summer increases acting out. Of course there’s a bit of a contradiction in this as the definition of addiction indicates a lack of control over the behaviour.  I’m not inferring the addiction goes into hibernation during winter. But I am suggesting the type of acting out my change during the colder months then change again in Spring and peak in Summer.

I don’t have any statistics to support my theory and maybe it’s incorrect but that’s the great thing about blogging; I can propose ideas like this without spending years doing research!

What research has shown is that sex addiction will increase when there are triggers. Triggers include adverts whether in magazines, on T.V or on the radio. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but advertising changes in the warmer months.  There are a lot more adverts for swim wear or filmed on beaches.  In addition people generally wear less clothing, expose more skin etc.  People’s mood improves too.  There’s a reason that Spring has been called the season for love. There’s a reason that in Australia more babies are born in September and October than in other months; nine months after summer!

In Australia summer coincides with Christmas and New Year and the long school and university holiday periods.  There’s lots of people outdoors and at the beach. We are known as a culture that loves the sun and takes advantage of our great weather.  On any given day over summer the beaches will be packed.  Many of our roads wind past long stretches of golden sand with beautiful views of people sunbathing, swimming or boating.

Nearly all the addicts I’ve seen list the beach as one of the places where they act out.  Many have discussed both voyeuristic and exhibitionist behaviours over the warmer months. An example of how summer can further distort an addicts thinking is the commonly stated belief that if women are wearing bikinis and exposing so much skin then they are sending signals of their availability for sex!  Furthermore the beach is the location of many “dogging” spots.  We also have nudist beaches in every State of Australia. Ask an addict and they will know the location of most nudist beaches.  Go to one of these beaches and the number of men far out number the women.

It’s harder to treat sexual addiction in summer. The triggers are everywhere and too hard to totally avoid.  I usually recommend the addict attends therapy more often in summer.  Extra support helps along with a “summer action plan”.

You may be wondering what happens in winter?  The behaviour doesn’t stop but it may change.  Viewing of porn or online chat and “camming” may increase. Exhibitionism and voyeurism decrease. The addict in treatment may think they are cured and then summer comes around and the addiction shows its ugly self all over again.

5 Comments

  1. I think there is one big Exception to the Rule. That’s the behaviour to be found in winter ski resorts. Young people, excitement, danger, sun, glittering snow, holiday atmosphere, clubs, discos, but normally very little flesh to be seen until the evening.
    I have been subject to more ‘pick-up attempts’ on ski slopes and at apres-ski parties than I have on beaches. Maybe I look sexier covered up !!

    • Hi Jane, that’s interesting! There’s not a lot of skiing in Australia and our very short ski season does not have the ‘vibe’ of the European resorts. Perhaps there are some cultural differences in sex addiction and infidelity? Personally, I feel fat and ugly in winter. Keep Smiling, Michelle 🙂

  2. Here, it is worse in the winter. Less time outside, more time inside, time on the computer, boredom, less physical activity, seasonal related depression… all seem to trigger him.

    • I think I may write another post soon discussing the link between boredom and sex addiction although I tend to think boredom is a reflection on our dissatisfaction with the way we are living our life rather than actual “I’ve got nothing to do”. I’m also interested in your comment about SAD and SA as I’d think that depression would decrease acting out although acting out actually increases the risk of depression ! Thanks for your comment. Michelle 🙂

      • They call it a shame cycle for good reason. They get depressed, act out to feel better, end up feeling worse, act out more, and spiral out of control.

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